I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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