I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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