Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
