we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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