..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You're completely useless in the revolution.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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