I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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