i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?