how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us