So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!