Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
im drinking this country out of the recession.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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