I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
