You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
