My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
