I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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