69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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