as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
