She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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