some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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