So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my sisters under your porch take her home
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
