I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
