New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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