the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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