there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
