worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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