Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
