dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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