He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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