He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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