I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We're too hungover to prance.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
