I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
