I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
