I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
