420 ftw
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
