RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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