Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
