playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Mom said you looked used
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
