I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
