it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
