your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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