I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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