I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
