these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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