White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
