girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
