There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
