There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
