She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
