we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
