Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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