Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
