He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
