I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
