i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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