I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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