She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
