just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
