@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
