you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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