This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize