Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well you can't waste a boner
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
