I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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