also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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