You really coming over, don't trick.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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