Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am one with the molecules
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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