it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize