Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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