apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
